Tuesday, April 3, 2012

What is Love?

Day 3 is supposed to be a poem about weddings, this will take me a minute because I have been contemplating the ideas of weddings and what their presence means in a patriarchal society. So for now another poem to begin the day with.

“What is Love?”

How can we ever believe love is real,
If we accept love as
“The great unknown”
“A great mystery”
“Something indefinable”,
“So extraordinary,
There are no words for love.”
“You have to search for love and when you find it you’ll just know”
These ambiguities have confused our understandings

Left us standing

In a world where Love does not exist for all
And we teach each other that love is a feeling that comes and it goes,
It is not constant- and in our life time not all of us will know
It’s no wonder so many don’t believe in love
We’ve had to battle our way through all the game playing and rules,
False definitions, leaving us feeling like fools

And through it we’ve learned to believe that love...
Is fleeting
It happens only with chance meetings
Its not something of choosing
If you don’t sacrifice and give up yourself, you’ll end up losing
It comes to us without expecting
It’s two hearts connecting,
But it doesn’t last forever
Some people can live their whole life never
Even knowing love
And people change in love
They don’t remain in love
They lose interest-The flame dies
Leading to infidelity and lies
Love is disposable,
If it doesn’t work,
You can drop it, throw it away
You can find another,
if there’s more out there there’s no reason to stay
This consumes us

And leaves us in a place where we don’t trust love
Because love is pain
So we sever our bonds
And only heartbreak is maintained

We erase memories,
and phone numbers
and “un-friend” love
We box it away,
we burn photos and letters,
we forget love
We build up walls,
we mirror rejection with more rejection
Its our only protection-
To break down love as something that wasn’t,
will never be true
We’ve even lost value
in the language of speaking “I love you’s”

It’s easier for us to cling to ideas that love isn’t real
When in this world many don’t know it
and its absence is all they feel
And we are left with thoughts that
love does not fulfill
And the truth is it can’t, until

We can allow ourselves to know it
Beyond a feeling, but as an action-
Because to know love, we have to grow it
We have to give and remember to receive
We have to learn to speak our needs
Speak our truths without fear
We have to listen and be present
Through laughter and tears

We have to move against neglect and abusing
These actions negate love and oppose it,
and we end up losing
Not only love, but precious life
Husband beating up on wife,
Parent beating up on child, child grows
And never knows
Love without this
“I do this because I love you,”
“This hurts me more than it does you”
It’s becomes a cycle

We have to stop being cowards and using love as an excuse
We have to learn from our mistakes and pay our dues
We have to know love is willingness, and choice
That in relationships of love, we always have a voice
We have to seek justice in love
Let love be as love does

Create intention to grow your beloved and your self
In body, mind, and spiritual health
Support the journeys of your spirits in connection
and apart from each other
Teach one another
Through kindness, joy, compassion and equanimity
Being mindful, is what love needs to be
Love is not just a feeling its tangible,
all our senses can know it- hear, smell, taste and see
Love thrives in all we do, all we are and all we hope to be
Stop replacing love with power, control, pride and greed
We have to know love is stronger than that
and we have to believe...

That Love is real

And if we act and live in love, it can be better defined
Only then can love be yours to have
as much as it can be mine.

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