Monday, April 16, 2012

Home Is Where the Heart Is

*Home poem

Home Is Where the Heart Is

Home is where the heart is
But what if
Your heart has been beat
Out of its own rhythm
Playing only the Blues
Bruised black
Forgotten tempo and groove
Like guitar strings
That can’t be tuned
And strumming them
Reminds you of
Your mother’s agony
High screech, then low sobbing,
Deep bellied moans
Unharmonized tones
Leaves your heart throbbing
Off beat
You hide under thin sheets
You shut your ears
But the sounds of her tears
Enter you anyway

What if the crackling flame
Of comfort and warmth
That fired your chest
Has been extinguished by
Sweating tears in exhaustion
Washing flames away
And leaving only embers that
Glow enough to bring you longing for
What you knew
You sift through
Old photographs
Of faces smiling and
Closeness, together they stood
How you wish they still would
But as you flip the pages
You see shifts
And rifts between bodies
And that the colors have faded
The brilliance has gone away
And you remember that day
That he left

You remember hiding at
The edge of doorways
Gripping hinges with
Back pressed against wall paper
Wilting from the stench in the air
That crept through the cracks
Under doorways,
Letting in light
Into a pitch black room
Trapped in shadows of screams
And cracks and crashes
Vibrations shook the walls around you
As the front door slammed shut
And he was gone, he left
And you heard your mother's breath
Heavy, and few
And you pulled your knees close to you
To catch the waterfalls
Trickling down
From the swells of your eyes
And the running of your nose
You knew what this silence meant
Even if your didn’t want to believe
He really went

That your family
Is not a family anymore
That now its in pieces
And they can’t even decide
Which piece belongs to who
Questioning where to draw the line
How to distinguish,
“What’s yours or mine?”
And when it comes to you its
Every other weekend
Alternating Holidays-
As their belongings were split
Yours doubled
Two beds
Two toothbrushes
Two birthdays
And a heart torn in two

And if home is where the heart is
Then in your home
Walls do not connect
Floors are unstable, unsteady
And You stare at ceilings that let the rain in
As you question, alone

Do Broken homes
make broken hearts?
Or do Broken hearts
make broken homes?

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